THE FEELING of a roll-away on a skateboard produces heavenly joy. No video documentation is required as the angels of a proper make will stick with you for years and remind you of their righteous thunder. However, you can’t have light without darkness. The inverse of skate glory is the agony of a slam. Shown here are the demons which lurk in the shadows of every spot, waiting to strike and feast on failure. They cannot be banished, only embraced. So, roll on. The more you try to avoid these freaks the more likely you will summon them.

As seen in the February 2021 magazine

This demon will offer you the beauty of a safe harbor, but beneath the mask she is a real beast. Hesitation whispers in your ear and persuades you to abandon commitment. She sows doubt in your attempt and then seals your fate—a slam awaits.

 

 

The humble pebble is small in stature and yet it can wield the might of a mountain. These stone goblins are a sworn enemy of rolling urethane and they emit a nasty roar when they collide with your chariot. You can sweep all you want, they will still materialize out of thin air.

 

 

Sometimes during a normal push your board disappears from under you. Maybe you kicked it with your heel. Or perhaps this cold-blooded serpent creeped in with a personal foul. No referee can help you. No red card pulled.

 

 

Physics do not lie, but they do teach harsh lessons. When you stomp your tail, the launch code was just entered for a heat-seeking missile. The vertical blast-off is aimed at your face and this pilot shows no mercy.

 

 

At high speed, the equilibrium of your trucks can go haywire. All hell breaks loose as stability cannot be regained. This terrifying seesaw loss of balance is child’s play to these monsters.

 

 

It’s the first instinct of all slams: get those hands out to break the fall. However, sometimes you get cuffed and stuffed when your hands never made it out front. This cruel cowboy is to blame. He will lasso your wrists in his own twisted rodeo.